Overwhelmed, I walked into the high rise building ready for my first day of work. I finished college almost five years ago and I finally found my dream job working with marine life. After checking in at the front desk, I was told to take the elevator to the 14th floor and someone from human resources would be waiting for me.
As I stepped out of the elevator, I was greeted by an impressively built woman. She stood a little over six feet tall, a full foot taller than myself.
“Sarah?” She asked as she held out her hand to shake.
“I’m Marilyn. Nice to meet you.”
After shaking hands, I followed her down the hall. I had to walk fast to keep up – even resorting to a quick jog when I fell behind. The hall was quite long and the walls were covered with awards and certificates. We finally stopped at a door near the end of the hall.
“First things first. I have some paperwork for you to sign.” She said as she opened the door and stepped inside.
It was a small room with only a table and two chairs. A packet of papers sat on the table with a pen beside it. She sat on one side of the table and motioned for me to sit on the other. As she thumbed through the pages, she highlighted all of the lines where I needed to sign and then sat the pile of papers in front of me.
“Take your time. Read through them and sign where I highlighted. I’m going to check on something. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
As usual, I didn’t bother reading any of the papers. I just flipped from page to page and signed where I saw yellow highlighter. Just as I was signing the last page, Marilyn came back through the door.
“All done?” She asked.
“Yes Ma’am.” I answered.
She smiled as she scooped up the pages and motioned for me to follow her out the door.
We walked down the hall to a wide door that she opened with a key card. As soon as we walked through the door, I became very confused. I was here for a job in marine ecology, but this looked like a pediatric medical clinic. The walls were covered in childish paintings and photos.
“How are you doing Paul?” Marilyn asked of a man that appeared from around the corner.
Paul was sitting in what looked to be an adult sized baby walker, slowly moving across the floor even though his feet barely touched the floor. At first I thought it must be a medical assistance device of some sort, but it was clearly designed to look like a baby walker – with attached toys and primary colors. At first, he appeared to be naked, but then I noticed the pale blue plastic pants that covered what was clearly a diaper. Perhaps he was a mentally disabled?
Marilyn saw the confusion on my face and offered an explanation. “Paul was very naughty and stole a dessert from the kitchen, so he was given an enema and has to do fifty laps through the halls before he will be changed.”
What the fuck?! I didn’t even have a chance to ask for more details, as Marilyn just walked further down the hall until we encountered a young woman standing in the corner. She was also wearing a very thick diaper, but her hands were cuffed behind her back.
“Amanda was verbally abusive to one of her caregivers this morning, so she is having her mouth washed out with soap.” I noticed the bar of soap jammed into the girl’s mouth as Marilyn was explaining. Drool was dangling from her chin and I noticed a good sized puddle at her feet. Clearly she had been there for a while.
Still too dumbfounded to ask questions, I followed Marilyn further down the hall to another door. In this room, I saw more people crawling or walking around in diapers – eight men and three women. Most had pacifiers in their mouths as they played with the toys on the floor. One man was laying on a large changing table as a woman in an apron was changing his diaper. His eyes were full of tears and I could clearly see redness and welts across his bare ass. There were two other aproned women in the room and they all looked at me as I entered.
“Everyone, I would like you to meet Sarah.” Marilyn announced loudly. Everyone looked my direction, but only the caregivers smiled at me.
Marilyn stepped back out of the room and I followed again. Finally I was able to voice my confusion and asked for clarification.
“What exactly is my job here?” I asked.
“Your job is to do as you’re told, young lady.” She answered.
“Pardon?” My confusion turned to fear as I sensed what was coming.
“This clinic was designed for useless adult children that would rather leach off their parents than join the workforce. Parents these days try to protect their kids from the world and as a result those kids can’t cope with real life when it comes time. We take them in and retrain them from infancy until they are ready to join society. You are not here for a job. You are here as a patient. You will be spending the next six to twelve months as an infant, while we break you of bad habits and teach you respect. When you’re ready to progress from there, you will be allowed to grow up again and make your mother proud. Don’t you want to make your mother proud?”
My fight or flight instincts kicked in as the blood rushed to my head. I swallowed hard and walked quickly toward the exit only to find it locked.
“You need to open this fucking door or I’m calling the police!” I yelled as I kicked at the door repeatedly.
Marilyn just walked toward me, grabbed a handful of hair and began dragging me down the hallway. I tried to pull away and pulled at her arm, but she seemed completely unfazed by my struggle.
“You no longer have that right. Perhaps you should learn to read papers before you sign them. This is a legitimate clinic and you have signed your rights over to us for the duration of your stay. If you really want to leave, you should focus on what we’re teaching and make things easy on yourself.”
Two of the other aproned women appeared and grabbed hold of me as Marilyn gave them orders.
“She is going to need a good paddling for damaging the door. Make sure she has a bar of soap in her mouth for the profanity. After she is diapered, bring her to my office for orientation.”
I felt like I was having a panic attack as the two women dragged me into another room. This room looked very much like a doctor’s examination room, complete with an exam table and an assortment of supplies and cabinets.
One of the women held me still while the other used a pair of medical scissors to cut away my clothes. It only took a minute before I standing there naked looking down at a pile of my now destroyed clothes, which she tossed into a nearby waste bin.
“You won’t be needing those.” She said with a wicked grin.
She opened one of the cabinets and pulled out a brand new bar of white soap. As she unwrapped the packaging, I began to struggle in earnest. It was no use, though, as the woman that held me only shifted her hold to lock my elbows together behind my back. After turning on the sink, the soap was lathered up under the water. Once she was satisfied with the number of suds, she turned to me and held it to my mouth.
“Open up.” She ordered.
I refused and clamped my mouth shut as tight as I could. She was having none of that, however, and simply pinched my jaw as hard as she could until my mouth pried open. The soap was slipped between my teeth and she took a moment to scrape it across my teeth several times.
“Bite down.” She demanded.
Again I refused as I tried to use my tongue to push the soap out of my mouth. The taste was awful and I could feel soapy saliva sliding down my throat.
“I’m going to hold it here until you bite down. Once you’ve bitten down, you will be able to drool out all the soap. The longer you refuse, the more you’re going to swallow.” She explained.
I was gagging and desperately needed to be able to clear out my mouth, so I relented and did as I was told. I bit down hard, right into the bar of soap. As soon as she removed her hand, though, I tried to push it out again. That is when I realized I was unable to pull my teeth from the soap. Without the use of my hands, there was no way to remove it.
The woman holding me allowed me to lean forward a little, which allowed me to push the soapy saliva out of my mouth to drip onto the floor. I didn’t notice the other woman pull out a canvas belt until she wrapped it around my midsection just below my breasts. She buckled it snug and the two women worked together to place my wrists into cuffs attached to either side of the belt.
Satisfied that I couldn’t escape my bonds, both women let go of my arms. I struggled again, but my wrists weren’t going anywhere. One of the women actually giggled at me as I tried to my hands free.
“All right. Bend Over!” One of them demanded.
I didn’t have time to even contemplate the demand as they forced me to bend over the exam table. Being as short as I am, I found myself barely able to touch my toes to the floor as I was held down in this position. My face protruded over the other side of the table, however, which allowed me to continue to drool out the soap in my mouth.
Several moments went by as I waited for whatever was to come. One of the women still held me down, but the other was walking around the room doing something else. Then came a pause that was broken by a incredible pain.
THWACK! I felt the paddle land hard right across both of my ass cheeks and I panicked. I struggled as hard as I could and screamed into the bar of soap lodged in my mouth.
THWACK! A second blow hit harder than the first and I felt myself begin to hyperventilate as another scream issued forth.
THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! The blows came every second or two, over and over. I struggled as much as I could with my hands bound, but all I managed to do was kick my legs arounds unsuccessfully.
THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! Blow after blow landed hard in different spots across my ass. Some landed high, very close to my lower back. Others landed as low as the tops of my thighs.
THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! The paddling continued for several moments until I was bawling my eyes out and making muffled demands for it to stop. It wasn’t until I lost the will to fight, exhausted beyond belief, that the paddling finally stopped.
My ass felt like it was on fire. I sobbed, completely lost in the pain, as snot bubbles issued from my nose. My tears ran down my face and mixed with the soap, making the taste just that much worse. The woman that held me down let go, but I didn’t have the energy to get up. They just let me lay there and cry until I managed to recover my senses.
As soon as the sobbing subsided, one of them used a wash cloth to pull the bar of soap from my mouth. She had to wiggle it back and forth several times before it broke loose from my teeth. Then she used another warm, wet cloth to wipe away my tears, snot and soap.
After a few minutes, they both helped me to stand and moved me toward the sink. A glass of water was held up to my mouth.
“Rinse and spit.” She said.
I took the water into my mouth and swished it around, trying to get all of the soap off my teeth. Then I spit it into the sink. I was allowed to rinse several times, but even then I could still taste the soap.
Each woman took one of my arms and guided me back to the exam table. This time, they lifted me up and laid me down on top of it. As soon as my ass touched the leather padding, I winced in pain.
One of them once again held me in place while the other retrieved items from a nearby cabinet. When she returned, she was carrying two large adult diapers and baby powder.
As if I weighed nothing, she grabbed both of my ankles in one hand and lifted them until my ass was a few inches off the table. I struggled a little as she moved to place the unfolded diapers under me, but a quick glance from her froze me up. I did not want to risk another session with that paddle. She smiled at my acquiescence and continued her work.
Before lowering my legs, she sprinkled a good amount of the baby powder all over my ass – all the way up to my lower back. She sat the bottle down and used both hands to lower my legs, as she spread them wide. They dangled over the edge of the table as she sprinkled more baby powder over my vagina and up to my belly button.
The first diaper was pulled up between my legs and fastened tightly by two tapes on each side. A small razor was pulled from her pocket, which she used to cut small slits all over the middle of the diaper. Clearly this was to allow the first diaper to drain into the second, which she fastened just as snug.
Both women helped me to stand again and I realized I would not be able to walk without waddling like a penguin. The diaper was massive between my legs and I wondered why two diapers was necessary.
The door was opened and I was led down the hall. There were several aproned women along the way and I was quite embarrassed to be dressed in only a diaper, with my tits out for everyone to see. My only solace was knowing that this was forced upon me.
When we reached Marilyn’s office, she was not present. Rather than calling for her, the women just attached a short leash from a ring on the back of my restraint belt to a ring attached to the wall. Then they left me alone to ponder my situation.
I felt like a toddler – standing there leashed to the wall, wearing a diaper and waiting for someone to come back. I couldn’t even sit down, because the leash was only about a foot long. As I waited, I thought about the events that led to my current situation. The only way this could have happened was if my mother was in league with these people. Did my mother really sell me out?
At least an hour passed before Marilyn returned. She didn’t bother to remove the leash as she sat her desk and looked through a folder. I was tempted to say something, but I honestly had no idea what to say. Instead I just stood there silently and waited for her to speak.
“You went to college and got a Bachelor’s Degree in marine biology and then wondered why you couldn’t find a job?” She asked condescendingly.
“It’s my passion.” I defended myself from what seemed to be the same argument my mother had used in the past.
“Well, passion doesn’t equal a career. Marine biology is an admirable field, but unless you get at least a Master’s Degree, you’re never going to find a job.” She argued.
“There are plenty of jobs.” I insisted.
“Really? We’re in Colorado. No oceans. Maybe if you lived on the coast, but not here. Why didn’t you move to California or Florida?” She shot back.
“Because my mother needs me.” I answered stoically.
“I highly doubt that, since she’s the one that called us.” She said with a smirk.
That answered that question. My own mother sold me out to these torturers. How could she?!
“Your mother loves you, but she wants her life back. She supported you for the last 24 years and now she wants to have some fun. Instead, she had to stay home and take care of your lazy ass.”
“I’m not lazy! I got a degree and I’ve been turning in resumes everywhere I can find. It’s not my fault the job market sucks.” I argued.
“Oh, but you are lazy. You had many opportunities to work other jobs while you waited for a job in your field, but you turned them out. Good jobs too. You were offered two high paying jobs in your field in both California and Florida. Again, you turned them down. Why?” She asked.
I had to think about it. I knew the answer, but I didn’t want to say it to her. After a few moments of silence, she grew irritated.
“Well?!” She demanded an answer.
I jumped when she raised her voice, still shaken by my ordeal with the soap and paddle.
“I was scared!” I answered, a little louder than I planned.
“Scared of what?”
“Scared of living so far from home. What if I failed? What if I ended up homeless? No friends. No family.” I began to tear up as I answered.
“That’s what I thought.” She said in an understanding tone. “That’s very common in your generation. You were so shielded by your mother growing up, you didn’t learn the necessary skills to go out on your own.”
She turned her gaze back to the folder and was silent for several minutes.
“Things are going to be different here. We start you back at infancy and work hard to raise you right. You will learn to understand the consequences of your actions and deal with them. You will learn new life skills. By the time you graduate from the program, you will be ready to tackle the next phase of your life.” She explained.
“Why diapers though?” I asked, suddenly feeling bold.
“Because you need to learn that depending on other people is not all it’s cracked up to be. For at least the next six months, you will be completely dependent on me and my staff. Your diaper will be changed on a schedule. You will be fed and bathed. You will do as you’re told, when you’re told or you will be punished. This phase of your training is a minimum of six months, however, if you haven’t learned the lessons you are being taught it will continue indefinitely.”
I gulped at the thoughts crawling through my mind as I imagined what the next half year would be like. The realization that I would be required *use* the diaper did not sit well in particular. Would someone really clean me up after I pissed myself? Shit myself? Ugh! The thought was almost too much to bear.
Marilyn sat there staring at me as I wrestled with the feelings building up inside me. Despite my feelings toward her, I could tell she thought she was doing a good thing.
“If I remove the restraints, will you behave?” She asked, stirring me from my thoughts.
“Yes.” I answered quickly, nodding as I did.
“I’ll forgive it this time, but in the future you will refer to myself and the other instructors as Ma’am. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” I answered as politely as possible, wanting desperately to be uncuffed.
She started by removing the leash from the back of the belt and then unfastened the cuffs on my wrists. As she was unbuckling the belt itself, I instinctively covered my breasts with my hands.
“Babies don’t understand modesty.” She said sharply as she slapped my hands away. “You will not try to cover up unless an instructor has covered you up. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” I answered as I put my arms at my sides.
“Is your diaper wet?” She asked as she placed her hand on my crotch.
I blushed with embarrassment at the intrusion of my personal space and the question that I knew I would have to answer.
“Good girl.” She said with a smile as she sat back down. “Have a seat. An instructor will be along to collect you shortly.”
I sat in a chair that was sitting up against the wall and groaned when I felt the thick diaper dig into my bruised butt. I almost stood back up, but I wasn’t sure if ‘have a seat’ was an offer or an instruction.
We sat in silence for some time as Marilyn went through paperwork on her desk. This gave me time to consider my options, which were clearly very limited. This might be my only shot at getting out of here though, so I decided to take the chance.
“Excuse me, Ma’am. May I ask a question?” I asked as submissively as I could.
“What is it?” She asked, slightly bothered by the interruption.
“Um… Would I be able to leave if I promised to take the job in California?” Tears welled up in my eyes as I asked, desperate for the right answer.
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that honey. Perhaps you can do that after graduation.” She answered with a smile, then went right back to her paperwork.
A tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away with my hand. I was suddenly feeling very sorry for myself, but I didn’t want to break down here.
Several minutes later there was a knock at the door and one of the other instructors entered the room.
“Sarah, this is Cameron. She is one of the instructors you will be assigned to. She will be taking over for now. You listen to her and do as you’re told and you won’t need to be punished. Do you hear me?”
“Okay. Let’s get you fed.” Cameron said as she took hold of my elbow and led me out of the room.
She walked slower than the other instructors, allowing me to walk with her at a comfortable pace. The cafeteria was at the end of the hall and it was not what I was expecting. Rather than lined up tables and chairs, there was a long row of adult sized wooden high chairs.
Most of the chairs were already occupied by other wards – all of them wearing only diapers and bibs. Most were feeding themselves with plastic utensils, but one guy was strapped into his high chair with his hands chained to the sides while an instructor fed him something he clearly didn’t want to eat. In fact, he was crying as he swallowed each bite and begging her to stop.
My attention was pulled away from him by Cameron as she lifted the tray on one of the high chairs and motioned for me to climb up. I sat down, once again wincing from the bruises on my ass. The tray was lowered in front of me and I heard a click as it locked into place. There was a built in bar that extended below the tray and between my legs to keep me from sliding under. I guessed that the latch to lift the tray was out of my reach and I would be stuck in the high chair until released.
Cameron went to the nearby kitchen and returned a moment later with a tray and a baby bottle. She sat them both on the tray and I saw mostly soft carrots, mashed potatoes and sliced hot dog pieces. A small plastic fork was sticking out of the potatoes. The bottle seemed to be filled with milk, which she sat next to the tray.
“Eat up. Every bite or it will be fed to you.” She warned as she walked across the room to chat with other instructors.
I wasn’t particularly hungry, but I was scared to death of further punishment. I started with the carrots, since I’m not a fan and wanted to cleanse them from my palate with the potatoes and hot dogs. When I took the first bite, however, I realized that I still had soap residue in my mouth and the taste almost made me gag. I grabbed the bottle and began to suck for all I was worth, only to discover that it was not milk – or at least not just milk. I could definitely taste milk, but there seemed to be something else added. I just chalked it up to the soap and swished it around in my mouth to kill the soap taste.
It took a while to finish, as every bite tasted like soap, but I managed to power through it and finish every bit. I then washed it all down with the milk and waited patiently for Cameron.
Shortly after I finished eating, the guy that was chained to his chair and being fed was being released from the high chair. As an instructor helped him out of the chair, he went straight to the ground and began to crawl, as if it was expected. His instructor walked beside him as they headed toward the door, but he paused about halfway and seemed to be struggling with something. Suddenly, I could hear the unmistakable sound of the man releasing a loud, wet fart into his diaper and I realized he was shitting himself. Not just shitting himself, but he had explosive diarrhea.
As I watched, I could see a brown stain spread slowly across the seat of his diaper. He tried to continue to the door, but had to stop every few feet to release another stream of loud diarrhea. I found myself thankful that I had finished my food as I would definitely not be able to eat now.
Just as he finally made his way out the door, Cameron approached and removed my empty plate and bottle. She dropped them into a plastic tub and then pulled the latch on the high chair and lifted the tray. As soon as I stood up, I felt a gurgling in my stomach and had to pause a moment to let it pass.
Cameron put her hand on my elbow and led me down the hall to where I had initially seen the other wards playing with toys on the floor. Most of the people I saw in the cafeteria were now here playing with the toys. None of them looked very enthusiastic and I could tell they were only playing to avoid punishment.
“You have about two hours of playtime before bed.” Cameron said as she let go of my arm and went to sit in a chair near the wall.
I wasn’t sure what was expected of me, so I decided to go over to another girl that was playing with dolls, hoping for information. As soon as I got down on my knees, he handed me a doll.
“Play with the toys or they will think you’re bored. You don’t want them to think you’re bored.” She whispered.
Together we played dolls the best we could, but I was curious what she meant. After a few minutes, when none of the instructors were looking our way, I asked.
“What happens if you’re bored?” I whispered the question.
“It depends on the instructor. Some will just make you stand in the corner. Others will make you do impossible tasks and punish you for not finishing.” She whispered back.
“What the hell is that supposed to teach us?!”
I spoke a little louder than expected, so I played it off as if the dolls were talking to each other. Luckily, none of the instructors responded.
“Only a few of them care about teaching anything. Marilyn thinks everything here is perfect, but some of the instructors are just sadistic.” She explained.
After getting a sideways glance from Cameron, we both limited our talking to the dolls and continued to play. I actually started to enjoy it a little bit when I was struck by a massive, painful cramp. I almost double over in pain before the cramp passed. Looking up at Cameron, I could see her suppress a smile.
“Soap?” The girl asked.
I nodded. It wasn’t until that moment that I thought to consider the effect swallowing soap would have on me. How sick was I going to get? Is it poisonous? Would I need medical attention? I was about to ask Cameron for help, but the girl intercepted me.
“Don’t get up. You’ll get in trouble.” She whispered while holding the doll to my face.
I groaned as another cramp hit me full force.
“Just push it out. Don’t try to hold it back or it will get worse. Best thing you can do is just empty your bowels and get it over with.”
Her explanation sounded ridiculous in a high pitched doll voice, but I got the meaning. This wasn’t just a stomach ache. I was going to need to shit to relieve the cramps. The idea of shitting in a diaper and sitting in it was too much to bear and I tried to buckle down and fight the cramps. They were getting stronger though, and I knew I needed to seek relief.
I felt like I needed to fart, so I decided to just let out a bit of gas and perhaps I would feel better. I lifted my butt up a few inches and relaxed my sphincter. What started as a very loud fart, ended as a solid push of waste from my colon. Surprisingly, as soon as it started, there was no stopping it. I could feel the contents of my bowels spread out into the waiting diaper – up and down my crack and into the seat.
Another loud fart escaped as another load pushed its way out. I realized as this was happening that I hadn’t had a bowel movement in almost three days. Usually not a cause for concern, but it meant my intestines were probably very full.
Looking up, I could see everyone in the room watching me as I filled my diaper. Humiliation washed over me and my face felt like it was burning hot. I wanted to hide from their view, but there was no place to go.
After several minutes, the cramps died down and I was no longer uncontrollably shitting myself. I sat there on my knees, exhausted, hoping that was the last of it. The feeling of the loaded diaper was disgusting. I could feel it itching and pressing against my skin. The humiliation was overwhelming and I found myself crying as I struggled to play with the dolls once again.
Maybe an hour passed and my tears had long stopped. As I moved around, I could feel the disgusting mess in my diaper shift from side to side. The smell was wretched and I felt bad for everyone else in the room. It was then that I realized that my bladder was now aching for relief as well.
As a small girl, I have a small bladder and usually pee a half dozen times a day. I was surprised to realize I had not peed in several hours. Knowing I had no choice, I relaxed my bladder and just let it flow into the diaper. I could feel the pee soaking into the diaper and spread up the front. The warmth was unmistakable. It almost felt good for a moment, but then the urine mixed with the feces and the itching that had subsided returned with a vengeance.
I peed a lot and I mean a whole lot. The inside of my diaper felt like a swamp as it squished back and forth. My legs moved back and forth on the floor as I tried to use the diaper itself to scratch the itching inside. It didn’t help.
Focusing on the dolls and my new friend, I managed to make it until the end of play time. The wards were collected one at a time by the instructors and I was one of the last. Cameron just took me by the wrist and guided me down the hall to a new room.
This new room had a large changing table and a twin size crib. It was decorated in babyish prints and designs. In addition to the furniture, there was a large stack of diapers and other paraphernalia on a bookcase in the corner.
“Up on the table.” Cameron ordered.
As I climbed up on the table and laid down, she retrieved several items. After putting on latex gloves, and with a handful of wipes handy, she untaped my full diaper and pulled it open. The smell of shit wafted out; I gagged and coughed, but she seemed unfazed. Expertly, she went to work wiping away all of the shit and piss from my crotch and worked her way down to the crack of my ass. It took several minutes, but she managed to get all of the mess contained and tossed into a sealed plastic bag.
Next, she placed a new diaper under my ass and what appeared to be two thick pads designed to increase the absorbency. A liberal amount of powder was sprinkled over my entire diaper area before she pulled it up between my legs and fastened it tight. This diaper felt even thicker than the one I was put in prior.
The next item she chose was what I first thought to be a t-shirt, but as she pulled it over my head I realized it had snaps in the crotch. It was clearly specifically designed to fit over thick diapers, as it fit my upper body perfectly but also covered the entirety of the diaper easily.
What she held up next gave me pause. It was a pink leather mitten that would prevent me from using my hand. When I didn’t put my hand inside right away, she gave me an ice cold look that scared me and my immediate reaction was to put my balled up fist into the mitten. It was tighter than I anticipated. She fastened the buckle around the wrist and I realized I could easily unfasten it with my teeth. The process was repeated on my other hand.
“Bed time. Climb up into the crib and I’ll get you a bottle.” She said as she turned to pull a baby bottle full of water from the cabinet.
I climbed down from the changing table and struggled to climb into the crib. The mattress was almost up to my chest and I didn’t have adequate use of my hands. When Cameron saw me having issues, she put her hand on my ass and lifted me up.
Once I was up and lying down, she tucked me in and placed the nipple of the bottle into my mouth. I moved to hold the bottle with my mittened hands, but she pushed them away.
“You need to finish this before I leave.” She explained softly.
The bottle drained faster than I would have expected, considering I was sucking through a small hole in the nipple. It would make sense that the hole would be larger for adult though.
When the bottle was empty, she sat it on the counter and opened another cupboard. This time she pulled out a long pink strap. As she got closer, I realized it was a pacifier attached to a small belt that went around the head. She pressed the nipple of the pacifier against my lips and I took it into my mouth. It was a bit large and I really didn’t like the feeling. It pressed against my tongue and the roof of my mouth and I was sure I would gag. Before I could protest, she had buckled it snugly behind my head.
As I was concentrating on not gagging, Cameron was pulling the side of the crib up. It wasn’t until it latched into place that my attention moved back to her. It was then that I noticed the crib was also a cage. There were rails on the top as well as the sides and the latching side would prevent me from escaping.
“Good night baby girl.” Cameron said as she flipped off the light and left the room.
It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, but it was made easier thanks to a small princess night light near the door. I was not even remotely tired, although a tad exhausted. Not being able to spread my fingers was driving me mad and the pacifier gag I couldn’t remove from my mouth was just as bad. I shifted under the covers to get comfortable and was reminded of just how thick my diaper was. Being a side sleeper, this was going to be an interesting night.
Going through the events of the day, I tried to determine the time. I had arrived at 2pm and the paperwork took about 30 minutes. The tour and subsequent paddling took about another hour. After that, I was in Marilyn’s office for about two hours. That took the time to about 5:30pm. Dinner was another 30 minutes. Then two hours of “play time”. My best guess was between 8pm and 9 pm. That was early for me, which explained why I wasn’t even remotely tired.
I lay there contemplating my situation for several hours. I couldn’t get comfortable, because every time I tried to roll on my side, the thick diaper would force my legs apart to an uncomfortable position. Eventually, I just lay on my belly and finally dozed off.
When I woke, I was sprawled out in the crib on my back. I naturally only sleep about six hours a night, so I knew it was still early. Not knowing when I would be released from my confines, I tried to nap to pass the time, but it was not happening.
My bladder was full, but I didn’t want to sit in a wet diaper for too long, so I held it as long as I could. Of course, I always had to pee when I woke up and I couldn’t hold it for too long. This time, I actually found it difficult to relax my bladder and I had to move around to a comfortable position before I could pee. When it finally happened, I could feel my urine spreading through the crotch of the diaper and up the front and back. That large bottle of water I was given at bedtime really filled my bladder.
As I lay there on my back, waiting for someone to come, I found myself instinctively sucking on the pacifier. Other than the fact that I couldn’t remove it, it was actually rather calming. The large size was alarming at first, but I had gotten used to it long before I fell asleep.
Hours seemed to pass and I just sat there, thinking about the next few months of my life. The betrayal of my own mother. If she had only told me she wanted me to leave… I paused on that thought, realizing she had tried many times in her own way. Pushing me to take one of those jobs on the coast. The more I thought about it, the worst I felt for putting her through that and making her feel like this was the only option. Did I deserve this?
‘NO! NO! NO!’ I screamed internally.
She should have just been blunt and told me she wanted her space. Instead she resorted to THIS! Subjecting her own daughter to this insane humiliation at the hands of sadists.
But was it wrong? Would I have been able to move away and make a life for myself? Or would my anxiety have screwed it all up and brought me right back home?
My internal argument ceased when I saw a light come on under the door. I could hear someone walking around, and doors opening, but my door remained shut for a while longer.
When my door opened, it was not Cameron, but a new woman I had not seen yet.
“I’m Michelle. I’ll be taking care of you this morning until Cameron comes in.” She introduced herself.
She seemed to be going through the motions as she unlatched the crib and lowered the rails. She put her hand on the crotch of my diaper and then lifted my leg to pull back the leg band and check if I had made a mess. It was very embarrassing to be checked, rather than just asked and I could feel myself blushing.
She unsnapped the crotch of the onesie and then pulled me to a sitting position with my legs dangling over the edge. As she pulled it up and over my head, she had to work the short sleeves over the mittens on my hands. The onesie was tossed into a nearby hamper and she unbuckled the pacifier gag and removed it. It felt good to have use of my mouth again and I couldn’t help but stretch my jaw and enjoy the feeling of putting me teeth together again.
Next, she put her hands under my armpits and lifted me off the bed. I thought she was going to put me on the floor, but instead she moved me to her hip and carried me like a toddler. One arm under my butt and my legs wrapped around her. I felt ridiculous as we left the room and headed to the cafeteria.
Upon arrival, she sat me in one of the high chairs and lowered the tray into place until it clicked. She reached behind the chair and pulled out a large cloth bib that she tied around my neck. It covered most of my chest, but my nipples still poked out on the sides. Emblazoned across the bib was a teddy bear and alphabet blocks.
I was left alone for several minutes as she disappeared into the kitchen. I knew a bit about what was coming. The fact that my hands were still locked in the mittens meant she intended to feed me breakfast. This was confirmed a few minutes later when she returned with a large bowl and a battle bottle full of milk.
“You be a good girl and eat all of your breakfast and today will be a good day for you.” She said with a forced smile as she held up the first spoonful.
I opened my mouth and she guided it in. As I started to chew I realized this wasn’t just oatmeal – it was high fiber oatmeal. My mother ate it often, but I always thought it tasted weird. I also felt the presence of a chunk and after biting into realized it was a prune. High fiber oatmeal and prunes. I guess I knew their end game on this one.
Despite the poor taste, I choked it down as fast as she fed it to me. Every few bites, she would hold up the bottle and allow me to rinse the taste from my mouth. There was still about a cup of oatmeal left when I felt full, but she kept insisting on shoving it into my mouth.
“I don’t think I can eat any more.” I said, hoping she would stop spooning it into my mouth.
“For your sake, I hope you find room.” She warned.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I didn’t want to find out. Opening my mouth again, she shoveled in the largest spoonful yet. Just as I was swallowing, she had another spoonful at my lips. By the time the bowl was empty, I felt bloated and sick to my stomach. She held up the bottle and didn’t pull it away until I finished the last half of the bottle.
Again I was left alone as she took the bowl and the bottle back to the kitchen. This time she was gone for a bit longer and I just sat there looking around the room at other wards being fed in their own high chairs. Most were allowed to eat with spoons, but a couple were being fed as I was.
When she returned, she removed the tray and the bib and once again picked me up and put me on her hip. She bounced me a few times, which made me burp. I felt so juvenile being carried around on her hip, wearing a diaper and apparently I was just burped.
As we walked out of the cafeteria I could feel her hand pressing against the seat of my diaper.
“I guess we can skip your morning diaper change.” She said.
The diaper was soaked, but I didn’t really have a say in the matter. It did make me aware that my bladder was once again full and I was very close to needing to pee again.
She carried me to a different room this time. There was a large playpen in the center of the room and I noticed the girl I had played dolls with the night before already sitting inside. Along the walls, I saw a wooden chair, several cupboards and a changing table.
On another wall was one of the male wards – his hands were cuffed to a restraint belt around his belly and he appeared to be holding a coin against the wall with his nose. His thick diaper was stained brown, indicating it was quite messy.
Michelle opened a small gate on the playpen and carried me inside. Rather than help me down to my feet, she crouched down far enough to deposit me on the floor on my butt.
“You girls be good now.” She said as she latched the playpen gate and left the room.
The playpen was filled with different toys. None of them particularly interested me, but I couldn’t do much with the mittens on my hands anyway.
“It gets easier.” The girl next to me spoke.
“Does it?” I asked, not believing it could ever get easier.
“Yeah. It takes a while, but you get used to it. Best thing you can do is try your best and get it all over with.” She explained.
Her advice made sense and I knew she was right, but I was still so angry at the entire thing.
“My name is Alice.” She introduced herself.
“Sarah.” I responded.
“That’s Mike.” She said, pointing at the guy on the wall.
As if on cue, he let loose a loud, wet fart and began to pant as he was clearly filling his diaper further.
“He gets into trouble a lot.” She explained. “He likes it.” She added in a whisper.
I looked at her with a sideways glance, unsure anyone could actually enjoy any of this.
“Really?” I whispered back.
“Yeah. He’s been here longer than anyone. Every time he gets close to graduation, he does something really stupid and starts back at the beginning. He’s either enjoying it or he’s really stupid.” She chuckled a bit as she finished.
I chuckled back, enjoying the interaction despite the circumstances. Laughing, however, put a strain on my bladder and I felt myself lose control. Instinctively I tried to stem the flow, but then realized it was pointless and just let it happen. I tried to hide it from Alice, embarrassed to be pissing myself in front of her, but all I managed to do was freeze up.
My bladder was so full, I peed for a solid thirty seconds and I was worried the diaper would leak. I spread my legs and began inspecting my crotch to see if anything dripped out, but it was all dry.
“Feel better?” Alice asked.
“Yeah.” I answered, blushing bright red.
“Don’t be embarrassed. It happens to everyone here.”
“When do we get changed?” I asked.
“Well, twice a day. Once after breakfast and once before bed. But if you’re not messy or wet enough to leak, they won’t change you at all. Other than that, the only way to get changed is if you are being punished and they need to remove your diaper.”
So Michelle didn’t take me to change after breakfast because my diaper wasn’t dirty enough apparently. Now I was going to be stuck in this same diaper until bed time. Knowing myself, I knew I would be peeing several more times before then.
“How long do I have to wear these mitts?” I asked, hoping she knew the answer.
“That’s up to Cameron. She’s your primary. The others won’t take them off without her permission, so you’ll probably get them off when she comes in after lunch.” She answered.
“Uuuuuugggggghhhh…” Mike grunted as he released another loud fart and we both watched as he clearly shit himself yet again.
“What happened with him?” I asked softly – slightly curious, but mostly wanting to avoid the same.
“They told him he was graduating next week and ten minutes later he knocked over one of the instructors.” She explained.
“Why would he…” My words trailed off as I thought about what she had said about him liking it.
“Yeah. So he got spanked and given a huge soapy enema. Now he has to stay there and hold the coin against the wall. Normally he just lets the coin fall, but this time they told him if he drops it he’s going to be out on the streets. He’s been standing there for an hour and hasn’t moved a step or said a word.”
I was dumbfounded by the idea that anyone would choose this treatment, but I guess there were a lot of different people in the world. Alice and I changed topics to other things as she played with the toys and I watched. There was a camera in the corner, so we were sure to do what was expected.
After about an hour, an unfamiliar instructor entered the room and gave us both large baby bottles full of juice. Then she took Mike by the arm and led him out of the room.
I took one sip of the bottle and realized it was filled with prune juice. This seemed to be a theme and the thought of shitting myself again made me nauseous. Regardless, I feared the consequences of not doing as I was told more and drank the bottle down as quickly as I could.
As another hour passed, my tummy began to churn and I started to panic a little. My breathing quickened and I found myself struggling to maintain control of my bowels. Alice just watched me as I fought it, but tried to act like she was busy playing with the toys. Within thirty minutes I lost control.
“Mmmmmrrrrrrpppphhhhh!” I groaned.
It was a massive cramp that hit me hard and I had no choice but to let loose a little and hope it was just a fart. No such luck, though, as my bowels just seemed to erupt into the diaper. This was a little different that the previous day, however. It wasn’t soft and runny like the soap did to me. It was as solid as ever and I could feel the the resistance of the diaper as the turd seemed to get stuck halfway out of my ass. I had to push as hard as I could to force it to smush against the diaper and spread out.
This went on for several minutes as my diaper grew heavier and heavier. Even though I was kneeling, I could suddenly feel the diaper touching the floor. By the time I was finished, there was a massive lump in the seat of my diaper and I was exhausted.
“I am so sorry.” I apologized to Alice for the disgusting display after I composed myself.
“No need to apologize. I’ve been there and will be again.”
I didn’t know what else to do, so I just knelt there and waited. Another hour went by before the door opened again and Michelle walked in.
“All right girls. Nap time. Stand up.” She ordered.
Alice and I stood up as Michelle opened the playpen gate. As I walked toward her, I could feel the poop in my diaper shifting back and forth as it invaded further into the recesses of my diaper. She took us both by the arm and guided us down the hall to another room with a crib.
“Have a seat while I get Alice situated.” Michelle insisted as she pointed at a wooden stool sitting by the door.
I didn’t want to sit in my own, so I just leaned against the stool. She noticed right away and simply lifted me up and sat me down hard. As soon as my butt touched the stool, I could feel the contents of my diaper squish up into the front and I realized my vagina was now covered in shit. The thought almost made me gag, but I managed to maintain my composure.
Alice climbed up into her crib and Michelle pulled up and latched the rail. She handed her a bottle that was sitting on the counter and then turned her attention to me. Taking my arm, she pulled me off the stool and almost dragged me down the hall. I had to walk so fast to keep up that the mess just spread faster through my diaper.
Back in my room, she once again lifted me up and sat me down in the crib. She lifted my left leg, which made me lay back, and pulled out the leg band of the diaper to check inside.
“Someone made a big mess. What a dirty baby.” She said condescendingly.
She pushed my legs up into the crib and lifted the rail, then handed me a bottle before she turned and left.
There was no way I would be able to sleep. I have never been one to take naps and all I could focus on was the disgusting mess in my diaper. The smell was pungent and it itched like mad. I tried to focus on drinking the bottle of water, not wanting to be punished if they came back and found it unfinished.
Once the bottle was empty, I tried to lose myself in other thoughts. Unfortunately, every positive thought I had was derailed by the reality of my current situation.
After a while, my bladder was once again screaming for release. I knew that would be a recipe for disaster, so I decided to hold it as long as possible.
A good bit of time passed before Cameron walked through the door.
“Wake up sleepyhead.” She said cheerfully.
I was tempted to remark that I wasn’t sleeping, but thought better of it.
“Smells like someone had a poopoo.” She rolled her nose as she spoke.
The crib rail was pulled down and she helped me climb out of the crib. As I stood there, she pulled back the waistband of my diaper at the small of my back to verify that I had in fact shit my diaper.
“Oh goodness. Let’s take care of that.” She said as she opened a cabinet.
I found myself instantly relieved that she was going to clean me up and decided to empty my bladder before she changed me. It didn’t take much to just let go and further flood the diaper. The added weight caused the diaper to sag heavily between my legs and I was worried it would leak before she even got me on the changing table.
“Okay, right foot up.” She said from behind me.
I looked back to see her kneeling down and holding a pair of clear plastic pants by my foot. Confused, I lifted my foot and she slid it through the leg hole. I lifted my left leg as well for the other hole.
The plastic pants were pulled up my legs and over the diaper. They were very snug against the diaper and pulled it tight against my skin. She checked the waist band to make sure it covered the entire diaper. I felt her pulling on the waist band and realized there was a chain sewn into it, which she pulled tight and locked the ends together with a small padlock.
Suddenly I regretted emptying my bladder as it hit me that she was not going to change me. Her idea of taking care of it was to make sure it didn’t leak and now my diaper was just an even more disgusting mess of sludge.
“Perfect.” She said as she stood up and turned me to face her. “Now, let’s get those mitts off.”
As soon as I pulled my left hand from the mitt that had trapped it in a fist for the better part of a day, I stretched out every finger and just kept flexing them. Once the other mitt was removed, I couldn’t resist the urge to intertwine my fingers and crack my knuckles.
Cameron took hold of my wrist and led me out of the room and down the hall toward the cafeteria. Every step I took I could feel the contents of my diaper slide back and forth. When we got to the high chair, she helped me to climb up and as soon as I sat down I felt the sludge escape through the leg band. I looked down to see thick, brown liquid squeezing out of the diaper, but stopped by the plastic pants. Cameron didn’t seem to notice as she lowered the tray and headed off to the kitchen.
When she returned, she had a small child’s plate and a bottle. The bottle contained red juice and the plate was covered in chicken nuggets and broccoli. Despite the larger than expected meal for breakfast, I found myself famished and dug right in. The broccoli was overcooked, but edible. The chicken nuggets tasted like frozen garbage. The red juice in the bottle was tropical punch, which was a pleasant surprise.
Cameron was busy talking to a couple of the other instructors, so I sat there silently for quite some time. It wasn’t until the other ladies’ wards were finished that she returned.
After putting away my plate and bottle, she lifted the tray and helped me down. I followed her out of the cafeteria and back to the room with the playpen. Alice was there again, so at least I would have someone to talk to. And now I had use of my hands.
As she opened the gate to the playpen, I could feel that the diaper had leaked quite a bit more and was worried even the plastic pants would not hold it. Without thinking, I spoke up.
“I think this is going to leak. Could I please get changed?” I asked.
I knew immediately that was a mistake as I saw a cringe cross Alice’s face.
“Young lady, it is against the rules to ask for a diaper change.” Cameron admonished.
She pointed at the floor very sternly and I knelt on the floor where she pointed.
“You’re going to have to be punished later. Naughty girl.” She said as she closed the gate and left the room.
“They didn’t tell you not to ask for changes?” Alice asked softly.
“I… I… don’t remember.” I answered.
Had they told me that? I didn’t think so, but the last 24 hours was just so intense that I may have missed it.
“Probably not. Apparently all of the rules are in the paperwork you sign when you get here and nobody reads it. They think it’s clever to punish us for breaking rules we didn’t know exist. Some sort of lesson or something.” She explained.
“What are they going to do?” I asked, suddenly very scared.
“It depends on her mood. You’re new, so she might go easy on you. Sometimes they just won’t change you before bed. Sometimes they’ll spank you or give you an enema. She might make you eat soap for asking. It really depends. I wish I could give you a better answer.”
Ugh. This was going to suck. The anticipation of not knowing what was going to happen was the worst. I tried to lose myself in conversation with Alice while we played with the toys, but the knot in my stomach wouldn’t go away.
During the next few hours I learned a lot about Alice. She was 24 and lived with her parents until she came here. She was supposed to go to college after high school, but she kept putting it off for one reason or another. Her parents were so nice about things though. They told her to take a job here or they were going to kick her out. She hasn’t seen them since.
When her instructor came to get her, I was left alone to ponder my own situation. It was about another hour before Cameron came to get me.
She was holding pink leather cuffs that she wrapped around my wrists. They were snug, but not tight and she didn’t bother to lock them together. Instead she just took me by the wrist and guided me to a new room.
This room was mostly bare, but there were several medical looking devices in one corner and a cabinet with a sink along the main wall. In another corner was an open shower, with a changing table near that.
Cameron pulled me over to the shower and pushed a button on the wall. A cable dropped slowly from the ceiling until it was about head high. It has a clasp at the end that she clipped onto both of my cuffs and then she pushed another button that pulled the cable(and my arms) back up. When my arms were almost straight up, she stopped the cable.
She rummaged through her pocket for a moment and pulled out the key to my plastic pants. Then she stopped to put on rubber gloves and a rubber apron. When she returned her attention to me, she carefully pulled the plastic pants down and off. The diaper sagged even lower than before and I was certain it was going to slide down my legs.
Using a pair of medical scissors, Cameron cut the tapes rather than pull them off and the heavy diaper plopped onto the floor between my feet. Looking down, I could see my entire crotch caked with feces and long brown skidmarks running down my legs. I had to avert my eyes or risk vomiting.
Cameron used a large plastic bag to collect the diaper and tossed it into a nearby trash can. The shower was turned on and when the temperature was where she wanted it, she pulled the hose from its hanger and began to rinse me off from the neck down. The sludge worked its way down my body and was carried to the drain by the warm water.
She rinsed me thoroughly for about five minutes and then used a bath brush to scrub me down with soap. Everything from my fingers down to my toes. She even washed my hair and face. After I was covered in soapy lather, she turned the sprayer back on me and rinsed again.
Finished with my cleaning, she lowered the cable and removed it from my cuffs. She used a big, fluffy towel to dry me off before moving me to the changing table. As I lay there, my hands were pulled above my head and locked to an eye hook sticking out of the table. A wide canvas belt was pulled across my midsection just below my breasts.
Cameron went to the sink and I saw that she was preparing an enema bag. I had only received one enema before when I was in the hospital and it was not a pleasant experience. This bag was significantly larger and the fear of what was coming made me tear up.
I watched as she hung a large clear enema bag from an IV pole and then filled a two quart pitcher with warm water. She poured it into the bag and then refilled it again. To my estimation, that was at least a gallon of water. Finally, she added about a half a cup of some sort of soap and mixed it up with a long plastic spoon.
My fear took over as she began dragging the whole contraption, along with a tray of other items, toward me and I broke down.
“Please no.” I begged. “I promise I’ll never ask again.”
I was crying hard as she got closer and closer.
“Begging isn’t going to help. You broke the rules and you need to understand there are consequences. Believe it or not, I’m actually going easy on you this time.”
She picked up a black rubber nozzle with a squeeze bulb dangling from it from the tray and attached it to the end of the enema tube. It was already dripping with lube as she moved to my side and tried to lift my legs. Gripped with fear, tensed up and prevented her from lifting them.
“If your legs are up on the count of three, I’m going to be not so nice. One!”
I gave in right away and lifted my legs off the table. Gripped both of my ankles in one hand, she pulled them up toward my chest forcing me to spread my knees far apart giving her unobstructed access to my ass.
Blubbering was all I could muster as I felt the tip of the nozzle pressing against my asshole. As soon as the tip slipped in, she quickly slid it all the way to the base. I gasped from the unexpected feeling as the intruded impaled me. I gasped again when I felt the nozzle inflate inside me as she squeezed the bulb over and over.
After six pumps of the air bulb, I squealed in discomfort. There was no pain, but it was so very uncomfortable. She wasn’t finished yet, though, as she squeezed it four more times. When she finally stopped, I felt like I had to take the most desperate shit ever. Reflexively I tried to push it out with my anal muscles, but it wasn’t going anywhere.
Cameron released her hold on my ankles and allowed me to put them down on the table. I kept my knees up and my feet flat on the table, because straightening them made it feel worse.
Without warning, she released the clamp on the hose and I felt the rush of warm water flow into my colon. It didn’t seem so bad at first, but after a few moments the pressure grew more and more. By the time the bag was half empty, I felt like I was going to burst.
“Please. I can’t take anymore.” I begged again.
I wasn’t even sure if she understood me through the bawling and sobbing, but she said nothing and kept the enema flowing.
“Please. Please. Please.” I repeated, just waiting for this to end.
When the bag was finally empty, I looked down and saw my belly distended from the sheer amount of water. Cameron closed the clamp and sat a small egg timer on the tray next to me. She twisted it to the thirty minute mark and turned it away so I couldn’t see it.
“You need to hold that until the timer goes off. I’ll be in the next room. Behave yourself.” She said as she headed for the door.
Thirty minutes?! Oh my god. This couldn’t be happening. The pressure and cramps were worse than the paddling I had received just a day ago. This was just straight torture. What lesson was there to learn from this?!
As the minutes ticked on, the enema actually became slightly easier to deal with. I guess my body was adapting. Although, I still felt like I desperately needed to shit and the intermittent cramps were horrendous. Through it all, I told myself that I was going to learn all of the rules and never let this happen again. It was then that I realized the lesson that was to be learned from this.
In my attempts to get comfortable, I shifted my body weight several times. At one point I laid my legs out straight and felt a gurgling in my belly as the soapy water made its way farther up my intestines. It was a scary feeling, but it did relieve some of the cramps. As I shifted around, it happened over and over until the only discomfort I felt was the huge nozzle.
When the timer finally dinged, I looked around for Cameron. She didn’t return immediately, opting to wait another five minutes or so. Even after she returned, she took her time pulling out fresh supplies. On the tray, she piled two disposable diapers, two stuffers and a pair of pink plastic pants with the chain in the waist.
For the next several minutes, she carefully piled the diapers between my legs and cut drainage holes in one of the diapers. She sprinkled baby powder all over my diaper area, then lifted my legs and slid the thick pile under my butt. Using one of the stuffers as a shield, she held the base of the nozzle as she slowly deflated it. When she was sure I didn’t leak, she pulled it from my ass in one smooth motion and quickly wrapped the diapers around me.
As fast as she could, she pulled the diapers tight and taped them. I tried to hold the enema, not wanting to get into more trouble, but lost control just as she fastening the last two tapes. Surprisingly, not much happened and only a small amount of the enema escaped. Finally, she pulled the pink plastic panties over the diaper and locked them in place.
She spent a few minutes putting things away as I lay there. I expected there to be a huge release from my colon, but surprisingly I only made a couple small messes. Once things were back in their place, they removed the belt across my midsection and released my wrists from the cuffs.
After lifting me off the table, she took me by the wrist and guided me down the hall to the cafeteria for dinner. This was the thickest diaper yet and I waddled, rather than walked as I tried to keep up. My feet were probably two feet apart as I jogged along.
About half way down the hall, I had to pause as the first large eruption hit me. I must’ve looked ridiculous half squatting as I shit myself. A wet fart echoed from the diaper, muffled by the padding but still very clear to anyone present. I could feel the liquid feces spread up my ass crack and down to my crotch.
“Done?” Cameron asked, having allowed me to pause as I evacuated my bowels.
She didn’t wait for an answer as she pulled on my wrist. Utter humiliation kicked in and I tears came to my eyes once again.
Once we reached the cafeteria, I was put into the high chair as expected. It was as gross as before feeling the sludge move around the diaper as my weight pushed it into every crevasse.
While Cameron was retrieving my dinner, another cramp hit me hard and I had to lift myself off the seat to make room for it. There were only two other wards present, but they all looked at me as I released another loud torrent of poo.
Cameron returned with a bowl of spaghetti and a bottle of water. When she sat them down, I noticed there were no utensils. As she walked away, I almost asked for a fork, but worried that would lead to further punishment. Instead, I did what I figured they wanted and ate it all with my fingers.
By the time I was done, my hands and face were covered in spaghetti sauce. There were even drips of it on my chest and boobs. After taking the plate and bottle back to the kitchen, Cameron returned with a warm wet cloth to clean me up.
“All right. A little more play time before bed.” Cameron said as she lifted the tray and helped me down.
Getting down from the high chair apparently knocked something loose and I was forced to just stand there as my asshole seemed to be turning inside out. Over and over, the main contents of the enema flooded into my diaper.
“Come on now.” She insisted as she took me by the wrist and pulled me toward the door.
I literally had to take giant deliberate steps as my bowels continued to empty loudly. After a dozen steps or so, it tapered off and I was able to concentrate better on walking. However, I could still tell I was far from finished.
Rather than the room where Alice and I had played in the playpen, I was taken to the very first room where several diapered adults crawled around and played with various toys.
Cameron turned me to face her as she pulled a large purple pacifier from her pocket. She held it to my lips and I opened my mouth to take it in.
“Keep it in.” Cameron warned as she let go of my wrist. “Now go play.”
I looked around, but didn’t see Alice, so I focused on another girl that seemed the least likely to get me into trouble. She was playing with building blocks and I knelt near her to play. She wrinkled her nose as I sat down and I felt bad for intruding in the state I was in. I didn’t know what other choice I had though.
“Want to build a house?” She asked, muffled by the pacifier in her mouth.
I just nodded and started piling wooden blocks. She kept adding to my structure and within a few minutes we were finished.
“We need a garage.” She suggested.
“Of course.” I responded.
“I’m Zoey by the way.” She introduced herself with a smile.
“Sarah.” I responded, smiling as well.
We were halfway through the design of garage when she stopped and sat up on her knees. She was perfectly still for a moment and then I noticed the yellow stain spreading through her diaper, which was much thinner than my own. As soon as she finished peeing, she went right back to work on our project.
After the garage, we moved on to a neighbor’s house and a grocery store. We even built a tiny dog house. As much as I needed adult oriented activities, I found this surprisingly fun. The only thing hampering the fun was my bowels erupting at random time.
“Enema?” Zoey asked at one point.
“Mmhmm.” I confirmed.
“I’ve been holding it in all day, but I’m about to give up. I don’t want to be sent to bed without a change.” She explained.
“How long have you been here?” I asked.
“I think about four months. It’s hard to keep track. I got sent back to the beginning, because I screwed up a chance to escape.”
“That sucks.” I responded, genuinely feeling bad for her.
As I was contemplating the possibility of escape, Zoey got up on her knees again and I could tell she was about to mess her diaper. I tried to avert my gaze, but I couldn’t help but watch as a sizable lump formed in the seat of her diaper as she grimaced and pushed. It took several minutes, but when she was finished there was a massive load hanging in the back of her diaper.
By the time we were finished playing, I had shit myself another half dozen times. It was disgusting and I felt like the diaper must weigh about thirty pounds. The enema seemed to have pervaded every inch of my intestines and it was bound to come out on its own schedule.
When Cameron returned, she took me by the wrist and led me back to my room. I was disappointed that we didn’t go somewhere I would be changed, but I figured a night in this disgusting diaper was the end game of this punishment and had made peace with it. After dressing me in a light pink onesie, she helped me into the crib and closed the side rail. She handed me two bottles of water and left the room.
I found myself quite thirsty, so I drank down one of the bottles quickly. Apparently I was also exhausted, because I fell asleep within minutes of finishing.
The next few days went much better. I had an idea of what was expected and learned more and more of the rules from the other wards. I did not receive any punishments during that time and I occupied my mind with mental notes of my surroundings as I worked on planning an escape.
My routine only changed one week to the day that I arrived when Marilyn came into my room with Cameron to get me out of bed.
“Good morning, Sarah. How did you sleep?” Marilyn asked.
“Well. Thank you, Ma’am.” I answered.
“Very good. Well, as you know, once a week we evaluate each student. It seems you’ve earned a good number of demerits this week.”
Demerits? I was never told I earned demerits. For what? The confused look on my face gave it away and Marilyn continued.
“Oh, you didn’t know?” She said sarcastically. “Well, let’s see what we have here.”
She thumbed through a folder and began to read out loud.
“Failing to keep up with your instructor on multiple occasions. Unfinished bottle in your crib Tuesday morning. Pacifier on the floor twice. Arguing about meals four times. And you earned two punishments in the last week.”
Half of those were things I had no clue were rules. Not finishing my bottle I should have known better, but the pacifier just had a tendency to fall out of my mouth while I slept. That’s not my fault. I also never argued about meals – I only groaned a bit when it was something I despised.
“Have anything to say for yourself?” She asked.
“I… I’m sorry, Ma’am.” I answered instead of arguing like I wanted to.
“You will be soon little girl.” She said in a disappointing tone.
Marilyn stood silently by the door and watched as Cameron removed my onesie and cleaned me up. I had gotten used to messing my diaper before she came in, so I had a fresh mess ready for her. As always, she cleaned me thoroughly and quickly. This time, however, she didn’t put me into a new diaper before she pulled me off the table.
As soon as Cameron stood me up, Marilyn crossed the room and pulled out a tall wooden chair. She picked up a wooden hairbrush from the counter and sat down. Cameron pushed me toward her and together they positioned me over Marilyn’s lap.
“Right hand behind your back.” She ordered.
I steadied myself with my left hand and moved my right hand to the small of my back. Marilyn took hold of my wrist and twisted it up until it began to hurt.
POP! I felt the first blow of the hairbrush on my ass and I yelped out loud. It was different than the paddle and hurt so much more. My reflexes kicked in and I tried to cover my butt, but my left arm was blocked by her body and I wasn’t strong enough to pull my right arm from her grasp.
POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! Over and over the hairbrush alternated between cheeks, up and down and even on my upper thighs.
POP! POP! POP! POP! I lost count at forty strokes as I broke down and bawled.
“Please Ma’am! I’m sorry!” I begged, but it had no effect.
POP! POP! POP! My ass and thighs felt like they were being stripped of the skin and I was beside myself with pain. Drool and snot hung from my face and I could taste my own salty tears as they ran into my mouth.
She went on and on for probably five solid minutes, pausing only occasionally to shift her position. The burning in my ass began to overtake the actual pain of the blows and I just went limp waiting for it to end.
When the spanking finally ended, Marilyn let go of my wrist but still held me on her lap. Cameron handed her a tube of lotion, which she rubbed into my bruised cheeks like a caring mother. I no longer had the strength to move and just lay there waiting for what was next.
It took both of them to lift me up and move me to the changing table. Marilyn wiped my face with a wet wipe as Cameron retrieved a fresh diaper and stuffer. As Cameron went about the task of diapering me, Marilyn just stood there and ran her fingers through my hair. It all felt very maternal and I was surprisingly grateful for the soft touch.
Once I had managed to recover some of my strength, Marilyn guided me off the table and led me to the corner of the room.
“You need to put your nose in the corner and stay put until Cameron says otherwise. You need to think long and hard about what you did to earn those demerits and how you’re going to prevent it from happening again.” Marilyn instructed. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” I answered softly.
I pressed my face into the corner of the wall with my hands at my sides. Marilyn took both wrists and twisted them up to the small of my back, above the diaper, and put them together.
“Keep your hands there.” She ordered.
Both women left the room, but I knew better than to leave the corner. There was a camera in the corner of the room and they would definitely know if I moved. My butt still ached from the spanking, but it also seemed to be generating an excessive amount of heat and I was sweating heavily in my diaper.
As I stood there, I made mental notes about all of the things that had earned me demerits and promised myself I would not make that mistake again. This whole place was just disgusting, but until I could manage to escape I needed to avoid these punishments.
Without a clock, I had no clue how long I stood there, but it seemed like hours. In reality, it was probably only about an hour, but with nothing to occupy my senses it dragged on.
When Cameron finally returned, she took me by the wrist and I followed her out of the room. It was back to the regular schedule of feedings and play time – and boredom.
For the next several weeks not much changed. I tried to follow the rules as best I could, earning only two punishments; an hour in the corner with a bar of soap in my mouth for accidentally swearing when I fell and another enema for going an entire day without messing my diaper. Other than that, my weekly visits from Marilyn resulted in over the knee hairbrush spankings, but none as bad as the first time.
At the six week mark, I was taken to Marilyn’s office after my morning diaper change, rather than her coming to my room.
“Sarah, I have some good news.” Marilyn said as Cameron stood nearby. “You’re moving out of the infant’s ward to the toddler’s ward.”
I didn’t know what that meant, so I just faked a smile and said “Thank you, Ma’am.”
“That means you will be moving to a room with others and you will start going to classes instead of play time. You did very well and I’m proud of you. Keep it up and you’ll be moving on to potty training in a few months.”
“Thank you, Ma’am.” I repeated again.
“All right. Let’s see what we have here.” She continued as she opened the all too familiar folder.
She perused the paper in front of her for a few moments and then looked at me with a smile.
“You have literally earned no demerits this week. However, you do have a warning for continuing to be slow in the hallways.” She explained.
She seemed pensive for a moment as she looked me in the eyes.
“I have to think it’s the discipline that has kept you on the straight and narrow, so I think I should go ahead and spank you today just to make sure. Do you agree?” She asked.
I desperately wanted to say no, but I wondered what the consequences of that would be. Was this a test? If I said no, would I punished even worse? She definitely seemed like the type of person that would be that manipulative.
“Yes, Ma’am.” I said softly, praying it would be mild.
“Very well. Cameron, can you pull down her diaper please?”
Cameron unfastened the tapes at the top of the diaper and pulled it down around my thighs. The lower tapes kept it from falling off completely. She then put her hand at the small of my back and pushed me toward Marilyn’s chair.
Over her lap I went and I twisted my right arm around to my back without being prompted.
Slap! Slap! Slap! For the first time, she was spanking me with her hand instead of the hairbrush. It still hurt, but not nearly as bad as the brush.
Slap! Slap! Slap! It went on for about fifty swats and then, from the corner of my eye, I saw her pick up the hairbrush.
POP! POP! POP! The pain intensified, but it was nothing like previous weeks. I wondered if she was just not hitting as hard, but realized after twenty or so strokes that the warm up with her hand just made it easier to take. It still hurt like hell, but I wasn’t turning into a blubbering fool this time.
By the time she finished, there were tears rolling down my face. However, I wasn’t sapped of all energy or require assistance to stand. Both women worked to pull my diaper back up, with the stuffer in the correct place, and fasten the tapes.
Instead of wiping my face for me, Cameron handed me a wipe to do it myself. While I wiped my face, she pulled a light yellow t-shirt over my head. It did nothing to cover the diaper, but at least my tits were covered. It seemed the promotion to toddler came with a little more freedom and modesty. That ridiculousness of that last thought almost made me chuckle.
“She’s all yours.” Marilyn said.
Cameron took me by the arm once again and we headed down a different hallway than before. We had gone directly from my room to Marilyn’s office, so the first stop was at a new cafeteria. This time there were no high chairs. Only tables in chair in childish colors. I was taken to a small buffet service where I picked up a tray and plastic utensils, then looked at the choices of food.
“One from each section. No more. No less.” Cameron instructed.
The first section had a choice of pancakes, waffles or French toast. I chose French toast. The second section was different sliced fruits, of which I chose apple slices. The third section was hard boiled eggs or sausage links, so I chose sausage. And the final section consisted of sippy cups of orange juice, apple juice or milk. I chose apple juice.
Cameron followed me as I carried the tray to a nearby table. Once I was seated, she moved off on her own to chat with one of the other instructors.
The promotion to toddler was almost amazing. I hadn’t had anything other than soft food fit for a baby in the last six weeks. Just biting into the sausage was like heaven. It didn’t take me long to finish everything on my plate and empty the sippy cup. A few moments after I finished, I saw Cameron looking my way.
“If you’re finished, put the tray away and go sit on the bench until they’re ready for you.” She said pointing at a bench along the wall occupied by a couple other students.
I did as instructed and put the tray, cup and utensils in the designated spots. Then I headed to the bench and sat next to another girl. Nobody was talking, so I took that to mean it wasn’t allowed and sat there in silence.
Twenty minutes past and all of the students in the room were now crowded onto the same long bench. Then an older woman dressed in a pantsuit entered the room.
“All right children. Time for class.” She announced.
Everyone on the bench stood up and I followed suit. All in a row, we walked through the door behind her and into a large classroom. I almost giggled at the thought of being taught my ABCs or multiplication tables. What exactly did they expect to teach us in here?
I sat at one of the few empty desks in the middle of the room, not wanting to sit too close to too far back.
“Okay class. Today we’re going to learn about retirement accounts.” The teacher announced.
So much for toddler classes. The next three hours was an intensive course on the types of retirement funds and why they are so important to everyone. Even young people in their 20s. It seemed this ‘school’ for lack of a better word, actually intended to teach us life skills necessary to live on our own – and not with our parents.
At one point, one of the male students was asked a question about something we had just covered and he answered incorrectly. The teacher’s response was to send him to the front of the class to stand in the corner, with the promise of punishment when his instructor came to pick him up. I would have to be on my toes and pay attention.
The room also smelled terrible, making it clear that at least a couple of the students has full diapers. One in particular couldn’t stop fidgeting, thanks to a very full diaper, so she was also sent to another corner to await punishment.
At the end of class, we were taken through another door to a playroom. This was considered recess and everyone found a place and played with the toys until lunch. All except for the two that had been promised punishment. They were picked up by their very disappointed instructors.
Discussion seemed to be allowed in the playroom as everyone broke into conversation about random topics. I talked to a couple people, but was more interested in learning the lay of the land. Being in a new area of the building meant I had to start from scratch learning all of the different comings and goings. However, I had a bit more freedom than before, which should make things a bit easier.
Lunch was much the same as breakfast, just different choices of food. Class resumed again afterward and we were back on the subject of retirement accounts. After a couple more hours of that, we went back to the playroom until dinner. While it was a bit less boring than the infant’s ward, it was still not fun.
After dinner, we were all taken by our instructors to our rooms. My new room had six beds and a changing table. It seemed Cameron was the primary instructor for all six of the girls in my room.
The other girls lined up near the changing table, so I followed their lead and did the same. Cameron checked the first girl in line and helped her up on the changing table. Her diaper was quite wet and sagged significantly. She was cleaned up and put into a thicker diaper with two stuffers.
The next girl was wet, but apparently not wet enough to deserve a change. The third girl was quite messy, so she was next up on the changing table. Everyone pinched their noses when her diaper was opened, but it dissipated quickly. It seemed the ventilation worked well here. The remaining two girls, including myself were not changed. I was disappointed, as my diaper was quite wet. Just not wet enough for Cameron.
“All right girls. Pick a book.” Cameron spoke up.
Each of the girls went to a nearby bookshelf and chose a book. I didn’t want to take too long, so I just picked something off the shelf. After choosing their books, they went to their beds to lay down and read. I did the same with one of the empty beds. Since nobody was speaking, I assumed it wasn’t allowed.
Cameron left the room right after, but still nobody spoke. I opened the book I had chosen to find it was a book of poetry. Not a fan of poetry, I just flipped through the pages looking for anything interesting.
A few minutes later, we could hear the sounds of someone being paddled. The masculine screams suggested it was probably the male student from class. The sound of the paddle landing on his ass was punctuated by his own screams and pleas of mercy.
About an hour into reading time, the door opened and Cameron escorted another girl into the room. It was the girl from class that couldn’t stop fidgeting. She had clear welts on the top of her thighs, just below her diaper, indicating she was also spanked. Her hands were cuffed to a restraint belt locked around her midsection. The diaper she wore was different than the one she was in during class, but it was also quite messy. Most likely the result of an enema.
All of that for fidgeting? I thought to myself. The toddler wing seemed to allow less leeway than the infant wing and that terrified me.
The first few days were a learning experience. Everything was the same from day to day. I focused on following the rules and learning from the other girls, so I did well.
However, on day five in the new wing, I was called upon in class. The teacher asked me a question about medical insurance that I didn’t have the answer to. She was upset, because apparently it had just been taught the previous week. Trying to avoid punishment, I insisted that I wasn’t there the previous week. Rather than accept my excuse, she got upset that I talked back and sent me to the corner for the rest of class.
After class, Cameron came to get me. She was clearly upset with me and nearly dragged me down the hall with a strong grip above my elbow. We went into one of the punishment rooms, but this one was a lot scarier.
“Ms. Burk is quite upset with you.” She said as she lifted me up on the changing table.
“I’m sorry, Ma’am. I wasn’t in her class last week though.” I tried to explain, my eyes already welling up with tears.
“I’m aware of that, but you don’t tell her that in front of other students. It undermines her authority. If you did that to your boss on the job, you would probably be fired.
You answer the best you can and hope you don’t get in trouble. We can talk to her about those things after class and possibly avoid punishment. Not this time though. She asked for a hefty punishment. You better just hope she doesn’t hold a grudge.” She explained.
Now naked, she helped me off the table and pulled me across the room to a set of stocks mounted to the wall. It had three holes; one for my head and two for my wrists. She lifted the top section and pressed my neck into the middle hole.
“Wrists up there too.” She demanded.
I moved my hands up and placed my wrists in the smaller holes to the side. She lowered the top half and I found my neck and wrists to be stuck. The neck hole was big enough for me to move my head around, but not pull it out. The wrist holes were snug enough that I couldn’t remove them either.
It was difficult to maintain this bent over position, so I bent my knees to take the strain off my back. That didn’t last long, however, as Cameron places a contraption between my feet that forced me to keep my legs straight. My bare ass was now strutting out for whatever punishments she planned.
My view was limited to the wall in front of my face and the floor directly below me. I could hear her moving around the room, but I had no clue what to expect and it scared me.
I could sense that she moved a medical tray to my side and could feel her standing behind me. The sound of a rubber glove snapping into place sent a chill down my spine. A moment later I felt her lubed finger pressing into my asshole. She buried it deep for a moment and then removed it. She did this four times and I realized she was inserting suppositories.
The next thing I felt against my ass was not her finger. At first I suspected an enema nozzle, but it just kept getting wider and wider. That is when I realized it was a butt plug. Steadily, she pushed it in and my asshole spread out until it felt like it was going to split open. I began to moan loudly and just as I was about to scream in pain, I felt it slide past the thickest part and come to rest on the base.
The feeling of being stretched out made me buck against my restraints, but I wasn’t going anywhere. My reflexes kicked in and I tried to push it out like I was pooping, but it wouldn’t budge.
I was so focused on the discomfort that I didn’t even realized Cameron had moved onto the next part of my punishment. It struck me, literally, when I felt the sting of a leather strap across my ass. I half squealed, half grunted when she struck me and I almost cursed.
PSSSHHH! PSSHH! PSSHH! The strap landed over and over from the top of my ass to the middle of my thighs. After half a dozen strokes, I was already bawling and struggling against the stocks.
PSSHH! PSSHH! PSSHH! This was by far the worst thing I had been beaten with yet. I could feel the welts rising on my skin with each stroke. Every time it touched me, it felt like a red hot brand.
PSSHH! PSSHH! PSSHH! She continued for about a hundred strokes and then abruptly stopped. There was an actual puddle of drool, snot and tears on the floor directly below me and I was struggling to catch my breath. I felt like I was hyperventilating, but could do nothing to help myself.
Cameron took a few minutes to rub lotion on all of the welts she had just left on my ass while I struggled to compose myself. Once I had calmed down, she released the top of the stocks and allowed me to stand. She had a wipe ready to clean my face.
The plug in my ass made me walk funny as she led me back to the changing table and the pain of the strapping just intensified it. She lifted me up on the table and sat me down. I groaned as I felt the plug press harder into my ass as my weight was put on it. It only lasted a moment though, as I lay down.
I had to stifle another groan as I watched her pull out two diapers and two stuffers. She went through the motions of cutting drainage holes and piling them all together before lifting my legs and sliding them under me. I held my breath in anticipation of the plug being removed, but instead she just brought my legs back down and taped up the diapers.
Oh god. How long was she going to leave the plug in my ass? I already felt like I desperately needed to shit, thanks to the suppositories. Would it be removed after dinner? Before bed? Morning? Just the thought of it made me tear up again.
She helped me off the table, but we weren’t finished yet. From the closet she pulled out a white canvas straitjacket and held it up for me to insert my arms. I wanted to run away so bad, but I knew it would just be worse if I tried to resist. I held up my arms and she slid it all the way up and wrapped it around my back.
It only took her a few moments to fasten all the straps. Then she pulled my arms through loops on the side until I was basically giving myself a hug. Those straps were buckled tight as well. Finally, she pulled the crotch strap up between my legs and pulled it tight enough that it forced the butt plug further into my ass.
Next, she placed a pacifier gag in my mouth and buckled the strap behind my head. This pacifier was larger than any of the pacifiers I had been given previously and it filled most of my mouth. By the time she was finished buckling it, I realized the nipple was coated in something that made it taste incredibly bitter and I began to groan and try to push it out of my mouth.
Cameron took hold of one of the straps at my back and pushed me toward the door. The thick diaper was forced further apart by the strap through my crotch, so I could barely walk at all. I almost stumbled several times, but Cameron kept me on my feet.
At first, I thought she was taking me to Marilyn’s office, but she turned and went into the next office down. Ms. Burk was sitting at her desk, going through papers as we entered.
“She’s all yours.” Cameron said as she let go of me.
“Thank you Cameron. Can you help me put her in?” Ms. Burk smiled as she stood up.
They each took an arm and pushed me into the corner of the room and down onto my knees. Bolted to the floor, diagonally was a piece of wood with two shackles. As I knelt there, facing the corner, the shackles were locked around my ankles preventing me from standing.
As Cameron left the room, Ms. Burk placed a pair of headphones over my ears and I could hear her voice. She was playing a recording of her lesson on medical insurance. As uncomfortable as I was, I knew I had to focus on the recording and be ready for questions.
For three hours, the recording droned on. I tried to focus as best I could, but my discomfort was overwhelming. The bitterness in my mouth barely subsided. My bowels were aching for release, which was causing some fairly painful cramps. The straitjacket was hot and I was sweating like crazy.
When the recording finished, Ms. Burk removed the headphones and pacifier, then began to ask me questions about what I had learned. The first was the same question she asked me in class, which I answered correctly. In total, she asked me ten questions and I got two of them wrong.
After questioning, she put the gag back in my mouth and picked up the phone.
“You can pick up your girl now.” Was all she said.
About twenty minutes later, Cameron entered the room.
“She did well. Two missed questions. I think fifty strokes will do, then she’s all yours.” She said to Cameron.
The ankle cuffs were unlocked and I was helped to stand. Cameron guided me back down the hall to the same room where I had been punished a few hours before. The gag and straitjacket were removed and my diaper was pulled down very carefully.
“Bend over the stool.” Cameron ordered.
I did as I was told and bent over the stool with my stomach directly on the padded seat. It was tall enough that my toes barely touched the floor. She pulled my wrists around to my back and held them with one hand. Looking over my shoulder, I saw her pick up the leather strap she had used earlier.
PSSHH! PSSHH! PSSHH! She brought it down hard on my repeatedly. I was bawling by the tenth stroke, but she kept going until she hit the fifty Ms. Burk ordered.
Once finished, she set aside the strap and took hold of the plug lodged in my ass. She pulled slowly, but steadily and I felt like I was going to split open as the widest part passed through. Once it did, however, the rest just seemed to slide right out.
She put the plug in the sink and worked on pulling up the diapers with the stuffers in place. It only took a few moments before it was taped back up. From the closet, she chose a light blue t-shirt that she pulled over my head.
Afterwards, she took me down to the cafeteria, but it was empty. I knew dinner had passed from the length of time I spent in Ms. Burk’s office. Cameron just took me into the kitchen and prepared a protein shake and placed it in a large baby bottle. Then we headed back to my new room, where the other girls were busy reading.
Cameron tucked me into bed and gave me the bottle to drink. Then she told the other girls to put away their books, because it was bed time. After everyone was tucked in, she turned off the light and left the room.
Just then, I was hit hard by a cramp and my bowels let loose all on their own. I could feel the soft mess leaving my body, but I had no control over my sphincter. Was this going to be permanent or was it a temporary side effect of the huge plug and suppositories?
As exhausted as I was, I couldn’t be bothered to think too hard on it and just accepted my situation. Not wanting to risk another punishment in the morning, I focused on drinking the bottle I was given. It was difficult, as the hole was small and the shake was thick, but I managed.
The next several months was a lot of the same. I’ve always been a quick learner, so my punishments were few and far between. I still received a hairbrush spanking from Marilyn every week, but I only earned additional punishment a handful of times.
When I was promoted to the potty training stage, I was given pull-ups to wear instead of diapers. Much like grade school, if I needed to use the bathroom I would just raise my hand and ask.
Accidents were expected after more than six months in diapers, but they weren’t really punished. A few times I forgot myself and wet the pull-up and was simply put back into diapers for 48 hours. It was actually a badge of shame to be in class in a diaper and those in diapers had to sit at the front of the class.
Even though I was diapered for accidents, I was supposed to ask for permission to wet or mess myself. It was the height of humiliation to raise my hand and ask the teacher if I could potty. She would tell me to go stand in the corner and do my business. I always felt like every eye in the room was on me as I squat in the corner pushing out a big mess.
Luckily, it only took a few weeks to regain full control of my bladder. After two months of potty training, I had passed all my tests and was deemed capable of living on my own. I was scheduled for graduation the following week.
Graduation was not so much a ceremony. I was told I would be taken to a room near Marilyn’s office and allowed to remove the pull-up and childish clothing and put on brand new adult clothes. Then I would sign release documents and be on my way.
As I walked down the hall, excited to finally be putting this place behind me, I found myself smiling for the first time in many months. Cameron took me to a large punishment room with a table and several chairs. As soon as I walked in, I saw my mother sitting near the back of the room and my smile disappeared.
She walked up to me, smiling and arms outstretched for a hug. I didn’t return the hug and I could feel the anger building up inside me.
“I’m so happy to see you.” She said, almost crying.
I ignored her and instead focused on the clothing and papers on the table. Marilyn and a couple other instructors had entered the room as well.
“What’s wrong, honey?” She asked.
I couldn’t believe how she was acting after putting me through all of this and my anger built up until I had to say something.
“You wanted me gone, so you got rid of me. Do you have any idea what it was like here? Did you care?” I asked through gritted teeth, trying not to raise my voice.
“I’m sorry baby. I didn’t know what else to do.” She was now crying in earnest.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be out of your hair forever in a few minutes.” I responded.
I turned to find Marilyn and Cameron standing a few inches away with a very disappointed look on their faces.
“Looks like you didn’t learn anything here.” Marilyn spoke. “Your mother did what was best for you and you can’t even appreciate that.”
Cameron and another instructor took hold of my arms and began to drag me across the room.
“I’m sorry. It looks like your daughter won’t be graduating today. She’s going right back to the beginning.” Marilyn explained to my mother.
Oh fuck! I thought to myself. Why couldn’t I just keep my anger bottled up?!
My mother watched as I was stripped naked. Marilyn pulled up a chair and the women laid me across her lap. I struggled against their grasp, but I was no match for any of them.
POP! POP! POP! I felt the hairbrush fall hard across my ass and I squealed. My mother was still present, watching me get spanked, as she covered her mouth in awe.
POP! POP! POP! POP! She wailed on me with all of her might for a long time. By the time she was finished, my face was covered in tears and snot and I had been sapped of all my strength.
She was still watching as the women lifted me onto the changing table and inserted the inflatable enema nozzle. I was given a full gallon of soapy water, which I had to hold for several minutes. Once again, I was put into two diapers with two stuffers as soon as the nozzle was removed. A pair of clear plastic pants added for protection from leaks.
Cameron then added the familiar pink mittens that forced my hands into fists and locked them tight around my wrists. A pacifier gag was added last. After they were finished, I was stood up and placed in the corner of the room with orders not to move.
Marilyn then spent the better part of an hour talking to my mother about my previous progress and assuring her that I would be much better behaved the next time she saw me. They intended to make sure I understand that she had my best interest at heart.
When my bowels were no longer able to contain the enema, I let out a loud, wet fart that echoed through the room and I grunted as I filled the diaper.
“Oh my.” I could hear my mom say and I was instantly flushed with humiliation.
After an hour in the corner, I was told to give my mother a hug, because I wouldn’t be seeing her again for at least a year. As angry as I was at her, I was just as angry at myself for fucking this up. So, I sucked it up and embraced her the best I could with my hands locked away.
I soon learned that being sent back to the beginning meant six months, rather than six weeks, in the infant ward. Some parts of it was easier the second time around, now that I knew the rules. However, since a repeat was frowned upon, punishments came much easier and more frequently.
Still, I managed to move on to the toddler wing in the shortest time possible and then onto potty training as well. By the time my second graduation came around, I had genuinely learned my lesson and no longer resented my mother for sending me here. I still wished she had found a different course of action, but I understood her motivations were for my benefit.
That being said, I managed to move to California and work in my chosen field. I even went back to school, while working, and earned my Master’s degree. As much as I hated to admit it, my time at the clinic did shape me into the person I am today.